thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The Olympian is in my bed
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
