Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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