Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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