wakey wakey hands off snakey
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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