At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize