There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
