her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
