I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
