just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
