The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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