I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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