i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
