dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
