I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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