i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
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