Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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