Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
