you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
