he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
