Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
