You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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