Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
