the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
