I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
