Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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