We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Randomize
