my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
