lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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