bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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