so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
