i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
