So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You pole danced in your parka.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
