Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
