why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That accounts for only three of the penises
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
