road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
