I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
