wat bout pragnant strippers??
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
