Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
