well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
