I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
