Jerry, you need to find god
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
