By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize
