I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
