id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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