He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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