Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
