TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
