or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize