The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
