In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You were trust falling into bushes
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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