you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just forgot I was standing up.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
