i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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