you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
