Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
