please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You made out with two different species that night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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