32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
