I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
