All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
