Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
