I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
