dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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