Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize